The Only Time You Should Say “I can’t”
Is if it’s followed by something illegal, unethical or immoral. Otherwise, please do yourself and me a favor and remove this phrase from your vocab – stat.
My kids know that the phrase “I can’t” is just as bad as using the f-word. This phrase is a big no-no in my house because I used to say this too often to myself. At the gym, when there was a new, scary machine or exercise that I had never done before I would say “I can’t do that”. Or “I can’t do a Facebook Live”. Or, “I can’t go for that big, scary dream”. WHY? Because those things are way out of our comfort zone. Gotta push your own limits though if you want ANYTHING to change.
There would be so many times that I would use this phrase to try to keep myself inside the comfort zone. I can’t do that – I don’t have the time, money, guts, blah blah blah. You may be saying, “But, Renea – my excuses are valid.” Yeah, if you make them valid to yourself, but that’s a choice that you are making. To believe the bully inside of you named Fear to run the show and keep you in your comfort zone.
“It’s not about the resources you have available. It’s about the resourcefulness you have within you.” – Tony Robbins
You CAN do anything that you put your mind to. I used to have the motto “I’ll figure it out” – and I still do. Once someone (yes even my own bully of Fear) tells me I can’t do something – ummm no – now I’m gonna do it. Now, I obviously won’t do anything dumb (like in my younger years) and I definitely won’t do something that I don’t want to do. But, if you tell me that I can’t do something that I want to do – that just doesn’t work for me.
Keep it in your mind, I CAN DO THIS – I CAN DO THIS – I’VE GOT THIS. Then warrior ahead and enjoy the journey. Are you going to be perfect at whatever it is that you do? No – if it’s something new, you have to work at it and it will get easier. But we limit ourselves more than we know by just telling ourselves off the bat that you can’t do something, because of XYZ.
Think about it, if you had a dream or idea and shared it with a friend and that friend said you were crazy and that you can’t do that. Would you be friends with that person? NO, NO and NO. You would eventually (hopefully) stop hanging out with this person. Or worse case scenario, you put up with this friend and stop dreaming all together.
This is a result of telling yourself that you can’t, over and over and over again. What kind of friend are you being to yourself? You must be your own best friend, especially when you are starting something new, exciting and scary. You must keep yourself pumped up and keep telling yourself that you CAN do anything.
Best way to keep yourself pumped up when starting something new? I tell my clients to come up with a motto. Whether you want it to be like The Little Engine That Could – “I think I can, I think I can” or use mine “I’ll figure it out” or come up with your own - just do it. Remove “I can’t” and replace it with your new motto immediately and then just get in the habit of using it over and over again.
Because you CAN do anything. I know you can. I have faith in you – now you just need to start having some faith in yourself. Push out of your comfort zone and you will be amazed at all that you CAN do. I love you bunches.
Life is What You Choose