From One Mother to Another
Today is my little boy’s birthday – my baby, my second (and last), my momma’s boy is turning 5 today. I often wonder how time can go so slow and so fast all at once when you have children. I mean, when you are in the day to day grind with kids – it seems like time goes so slow. Then you get a day like today, where you look back at everything that has transpired over the last 5 years. Whoa – where the heck did the time go?
As moms, we can get wrapped up in the bustle of homework, playdates, karate classes, gymnastics, blah blah blah. Running from here to there until you finally lay down in bed at night, exhausted from the busy day. Then, if you are anything like me, you run through the GINORMIS to-do list in your head of everything that needs to be done and what you didn’t get around to doing that day that has to go back on the list for tomorrow.
We worry about if our kids are happy and healthy, how clean our house is, if the laundry is done, when the dog last got their shots and whatever other random thing that pops up during those midnight to-do list sessions.
Except, the biggest thing that most moms forget to put on their to-do list – themselves. We are so busy as moms taking care of our little ones - and usually everyone else (husbands count as children sometimes right?) that we forget to take care of ourselves. We get so caught up in what we think has to be done right now or else maybe that might mean that we are a less than stellar mom. Or we think that if we don’t have everything perfectly perfect (like crafting Pinterest birthday parties at 2am for a 4yr old that won’t even remember it) – that this might mean that – GASP we are a bad mom.
Ladies, first of all, cut yourself some slack. We are entering a time in society that most moms are struggling big time with stress, overwhelm, depression and anxiety. We think there has to be so many rules and that if we didn’t do EVERYTHING that this means we fail and somehow our kids are going to end up in therapy blaming it all on us.
However, it doesn’t have to feel like that. The biggest shift you can make to get out of feeling completely overloaded as a mom is by starting a self-care routine for you. A mom that takes time daily for herself – even if that’s 10-15 minutes – where you just breath and remind yourself that you are doing an awesome job. I mean, this is the hardest job on the planet – but the most rewarding.
Time can go by so fast and we can never get it back, as much as we wish we could. Take time out of your day to enjoy the little things that kids do – even if that’s reading a short story or playing with them before doing the laundry. I promise that they won’t remember that there was a giant pile of unfolded laundry sitting in a basket waiting to be folded for the past 3 days (speaking from current circumstances as I stare at this laundry basket that I have pretended not to see for the past 3 days).
Everything does not always have to be perfectly perfect – and that’s OK. That’s life – messy, unpredictable and usually with kids – very sticky. Expecting perfection from yourself as a mom and as the warrior of your family – is setting you up to feel like you failed. This job is a fly by the seat of your pants type of a thing – so make sure you cut yourself some major slack. Pat yourself on the back for all the curve balls that you have been thrown and handled with grace (or at least trying not to fall flat on your face).
Taking time to take care of yourself daily as a mom is crucial to dealing with that mom life overwhelm, stress, depression, isolation and anxiety that is plaguing moms nowadays. By making yourself a priority, you are not only a happier, healthier mom – but then you teach your little ones that it’s important for them to take care of themselves too. Your mental health is so important – especially when you are raising the future generation. Make sure you are taking time for yourself and let the laundry get folded another day. You earned it warrior.
Life is What You Choose